Hello friends!! Looks like today is a two posts kinda day, which is an improvement from my long break from this. If you read my last article, you already know that I've been out of it lately, but I wanted to talk about what was going on and how I'm getting out of that weird place.
I probably just made it seem like there's something really wrong with me, but I can assure you that there isn't. I just haven't really been super happy lately. A lot of it had to do with school, and in the last month of school I don't think there was ever a day where I didn't say "UGH I HATE SCHOOL SO MUCH," at least six times a day. A lot of it also had to do with how I was spending my time. I couldn't find inspiration for any blogs, and I had no motivation to journal, even though those are two of my favorite things to do. But the majority of the problem had to do with my relationship with God.
Instead of making time for God during stressful times, I turned away. I know, I know, God is always the first one I should to turn to in times of trouble, but for some reason I found it too difficult to talk to Him when I wasn't thanking Him for the good things. I just didn't even have the effort to take a few minutes during my day to pray and talk to God and ask for help where I needed it. It sucked, and I know how much it would have helped to have God on my side during it all.
But the point is I wasn't seeking God. I knew I needed to, yet I didn't. Then either last night or the night before (I don't even know, all the time blends together during the summer) I listened to "Even If" by MercyMe. Guys, I cried like a baby listening to this song at 12:23 a.m. It was my exact situation. If you haven't heard this song, or even if you know it like the back of your hand, I want you to turn it on and listen to the words. The singer talks about how a lot of times he'll be up on stage singing to people and he'll tell them that with God everything will be okay, and he talks about how in the moment he can't do that for himself. He says that it's so easy to praise and talk to God when everything is perfect because you know that it is His work, but that it is difficult to find strength in your relationship when you can't seem to find God.
WOW. Guys, can you see how unbelievably true that is?? I know I can, after feeling low and noticing how it affected my relationship with God. The first verse of the song says, "They say sometimes you win some/Sometimes you lose some/And right now, right now I'm losing bad." That was exactly where I was. I was losing and I couldn't figure out how to get my relationship with God back on track. Its crazy, because I know that all along I could have just talked to Him about it, and that would have helped.
The chorus of this song shares a very important message that I think a lot of us forget. It says, "I know You're able and I know You can/Save through the fire with Your mighty hand/But even if You don't/My hope is You alone." The first part recognizes God and how capable and amazing He is. It talks about He can save us from whatever we need, which is true, but the next part was the most important for me and helped me get myself back on track. After recognizing that God can save us from our troubles, it then says He may not. What?? God has the power to make me feel better but doesn't use it? I know it seems crazy, and that's what makes us feel like God has left us. But just because God is giving you circumstances that you don't like, that doesn't mean He loves you any less. God is preparing you. He's helping you find the way, even if it doesn't seem like it. Romans 5:3-5 says, "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." God giving us hard times is actually Him pouring love into us. I know it doesn't make sense but think about it this way-- if you go workout, chances are its horrible and painful and you may hate every moment of it, but the next morning you wake up stronger and you know it was worth it. God is your workout. It doesn't mean He loves you less than someone who seems to have everything all figured out. He's just showing love differently because that's what you need. The song goes on to say that even when your situation is rough, you should still give praise to God because He is working in his own ways to bring you joy and peace, and He always deserves to be praised.
I know you may be in a place where you just don't think you can handle it. But look, if you're reading this right now, then you're already handling it. God won't give you more than He knows you can handle. He's going to push you to your limits, but think about how much it will pay off when things start getting good again. Never think that God does not love you and never, ever, think that God is leaving you alone. He is always there for you and He never wants you to feel alone. Talk to Him about how you feel, because He wants it all, even when it's hard. Also, you always have time for God. Take a second to talk to God instead of talking to your friends on Snapchat. And remember Romans 8:18, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
I love you guys, and God loves you too. Remember that Jesus saved you!!
Thanks so much for reading!! See ya later! <3