Hey guys!! How are you today? Today we're going to be talking about trust. This post is specifically about trust within girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife types of relationships, but feel free to keep reading even if you aren't in a relationship because you'll never know when you need to know this stuff
So friends, today I was just scrolling through my Pinterest (when am I not, honestly) and I saw an advertisement that said something like, "Have a boyfriend? This app can track all past records and any online presence!" I had to take a second when I saw that. All I could think was SERIOUSLY?!? Then I started thinking back about seeing posts on Twitter where girls would get people to text their boyfriends while flirting to see their response to know if their boyfriend is loyal. I started to think, is this really what our society has come to now??? It honestly made me really mad.
So now I want to talk to you about TRUST in your relationships. I see so many people who are totally lacking that factor in their relationships, when it's probably what is most needed in a successful relationship. We need to start building trustful relationships with people.
I'm going to hit you with a harsh truth: if you can't trust your significant other, you either aren't mature enough for a relationship or you aren't in the right relationship. That's all there is to it. It's actually quite simple. If you can't trust your significant other (from now on we will refer to them as the SO) to go out, then the relationship is unhealthy. If you feel the need to have their password to everything, your relationship is unhealthy. If you're worried because your SO is friends with other girls or guys, then your relationship is unhealthy. If you feel the need to track their every move on social media, then (you guessed it!!) your relationship is unhealthy.
This may be a rude awakening for some of you. Some of you might think you're an exception to this. Some of you may think of excuses for why you do the things that you do. But it all goes back to trust issues. You might try to blame trust issues on others, and I understand that. but in the end it all goes back to you.
Having trust issues doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. You may have had bad experiences involving trust, whether that trust was in a relationship or not. But a solid relationship is built on the foundation of trust, and it's crucial to have trust to be in a happy relationship.
I want to go through a couple scenarios with you to help you figure out what I'm trying to say. Let's take cheating as an example. If you've been cheated on, it's likely that you'll be worried that someone else will cheat on you. It's easy to be defensive because you had a bad experience and you may expect the worst in people. If that is the case, talk to your SO about your past experience. Tell them that you get nervous about cheating because it's happened to you before. It's important to communicate where those feelings come from. They will help you work through it, and it's better to tell them than to spend your whole relationship being worried about getting cheated on.
Now let's look at a different way cheating can affect your trust in a relationship: What if your SO has cheated on someone before? What do you do? I can see why you would be worried. There are two ways to take this situation from here. People can change. If the relationship is going to work, you need to trust that they aren't going to cheat on you, and move past their mistake. And if you can't move past it? That's a red flag. Listen to your instincts. If you feel that they can't be trusted, then you're probably right, and you probably need to move on. If you can't shake the worry that they may cheat on you, then it probably means they may still cheat, or it just means that your trust levels are not high enough to trust them after their mistake. Either way, it's best to let them go, as no solid, healthy relationship can be built without the foundation of trust.
Another red flag for trust issues is the password obsession and stalking habits. I'm going to honest here, if you feel the need to know everything about your SO at every moment, then you aren't mature enough for a relationship. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but that's kind of just the way it is. If you need to micromanage your SO, then you don't trust them. Likely this is a problem of your own. Step away from the micromanaging. Give your SO their privacy, and respect it. This may sound harsh, but you both need your space and it's important to give your SO the same privacy that you would want (p.s. I still love you even if you're a micro-manager).
A healthy couple is able to trust that their SO is going to be loyal to them. They trust that they can go out by themselves and stay loyal. They trust that they can be friends with other people. They trust that they can like someone's picture on Instagram without it being a big deal. It all comes down to trust. If you are working on your trust, talk to your SO so they can help you. If you can't get past trust issues even while working with your SO, take a break from relationships for a while to get your head back in the game. I know you're probably tired of hearing it, but a solid relationship is built on the foundation of trust.
This post was mostly a tangent with random stories and examples, but these thoughts have been in my head for a while and I wanted to share them. Remember, trust issues are common, and it's okay if you have them, just make sure you take the necessary time to work them out so you can spend time in successful and happy relationships!!
Thank you so much for reding!! See ya later! <3