Hello beautiful!! Today we're talking about toxic relationships; what they are and how to get out of them. The other day I was driving home from dance and the song "Try" by Colbie Caillat was playing and I was really listening to the lyrics and doing a bit of soul searching and I figured out the exact meaning of a toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship is any relationship where you don't feel like you can be the 100% true, honest, and authentic you. This encompasses a lot, so let's break it down.
This covers any kind of relationship, be it friendship or something more. If you feel like you need to hold back parts of your personality, it's toxic. If you feel like you're not enough, it's toxic. If you're insecure about who you are or what you do, then it's toxic. If you feel restricted or held back, it's toxic. If it's hurting you (emotionally or physically), it's definitely toxic. See where I'm going with this?
So that's a whole lot of bad stuff, but let's go ahead and switch over to what a healthy and thriving relationship looks like. A good relationship is one where you can be who you are, one that never makes you question your worth or importance, one where you feel safe and secure. Good relationships thrive on growth; they should push you to be a better you because you want to be better, not because you feel pressured to act or be a certain way. They make you feel loved, and they make you feel wanted. This one is a big one. Healthy relationships give you a sense of inclusion, and when you're in one you'll never feel like people think you're a burden to be with.
I could go on and on about good qualities in relationships, but I'll leave it at that. I want to talk about how it feels to be in toxic relationships and how to get out of them. I'm not going to lie; it feels pretty freaking awful to be in a relationship where you're constantly insecure. I've felt that way a lot throughout my life. My relationships have never started out toxic, but sometime they develop to be. It's important to know that this doesn't always mean there's something wrong with you or with anyone else involved in the relationship. People change, and while these changes may be good for them, they may start to negatively effect you. Sometimes nothing ever really goes wrong in the relationship, but you may have a feeling that you're just not in the right place to continue to stay with someone. This situation can be hard to navigate; when nothing really goes wrong, you just have a change of heart or emotions.
I also want to reassure you that things are going to work out and get better. It's okay to let go of something that's stressing you out or making you uncomfortable. It's okay if a relationship starts to not feel right. Sometimes there's no real reason, it's just no longer right for the person you are or the person you're trying to become, and it's okay to let go of that. It's okay if the people who you thought would be your ride or dies till the day you died don't fulfill that role anymore. They've changed, and you've changed and its okay if you're not changing together.
If you're working up the courage to face a toxic relationship and get out of the situation you're in, I encourage you to do it, but with respect. Let the person you're "breaking up with" know whats happening. Don't just ghost them and leave them in the dark. Have the kindness to communicate what you're feeling, even if what you're feeling is a whole jumble of unclear emotions. They deserve to know what's going on, so let them know.
I'm determined to make 2018 the best year of all time, and that means spring cleaning your life of the people who don't make you feel good about yourself. But also try to do so in the nicest way possible, so we can have no bad vibes with the people around us. You deserve to be surrounded by the people who pour love and joy into you, so take a second to look at your friends and the people in your life. Are they people that make you excited to get out of bed in the morning to see? If not, focus your attention on the people who make you feel excited about life, and let the others go.
I hope you can find the people that give you the never-ending love that you so deeply deserve, and I hope that you can fulfill that role in someone's life. Spread love and light, and be the friend you always wished you had.
Thanks so much for reading!! See ya later! <3