Hello loves!! Today we're going to be talking about the only kind of approval that you need-- the approval that comes from yourself.
Do you like you?
This question kinda sounds like it's attacking you, but think about it. Do you like the person that you are? Do you like where you are in life and what you're doing?
If you answer yes to any of those questions, then you need to stop worrying about others, and if you didn't answer yes then we need to figure out a way to get you to fall in love with yourself.
The key to not caring what people think of you is to be so in love with yourself that they don't even faze you. If you've ever been in love, I'm sure you know what I mean when I say it's hard to notice people's flaws. Sure, there's probably been things you've given constructive criticism on so you can help the person you love grow, but over time you've probably found yourself being unbothered by the tiny, unimportant, so-called "flaws."
It's time to impose this kind of radical, beautiful self-love upon ourselves. If its so easy to see the people we love without judgment, how come its so hard to do the same for ourselves? Why do we have so much difficulty forgiving ourselves for our mistakes, loving the messy parts of who we are, and just being totally in love with who we are?
We spend a lot of time in self-deprecation, and it can be very damaging. Of course, its always better if you're able to laugh at yourself, but we don't need to constantly be tearing ourselves down just to seek approval from others. You know when we do the thing where we say, "I look SO fat in these jeans!" just so you can hear the chorus of "YOU'RE NOT FAT!!" from your friends? Yeah, that.
While compliments are never really something that damage our self-image, we need to find a place where we are be able to love ourselves without relying on the love given to you from others. Now, I'm not saying to get rid of any kind of support system you have and become totally self-dependent, but its time for us to work towards the peace of mind where we can say, "Hey, I love myself, and I don't need you or anyone else's validation to know that I'm pretty freakin' awesome."
Getting to this place takes work, but once you get there, things are going to roll right off your shoulders. You'll learn when to take criticism as a way to grow into the person you love being, and you'll know when to say, "Thanks for your opinion, but I'd rather just keep on doin' what I'm doin'." This whole place of self-approval and love isn't really an end destination, because its something that is forever changing and growing through phases, but once you start prioritizing your opinions of yourself over the opinions of others, you're really going to start living.
Thankfully, I've always been someone who isn't too focused on what other people think of me. In 8th grade there were some girls who made fun of me for buying clothes and mascara at Target, but I laughed it off because 1. I looked good (I really didn't, 8th grade was a rough year for me), 2. I didn't need expensive clothes and makeup because I was 13 and you're supposed to be awkward, and 3. Target is the best and I still buy some of my mascara and clothes there. Moral of the story is: I liked where I was and it didn't matter too much what an 8th grader spending $30 on mascara thought of me.
It didn't matter what anyone thought of me because I was too busy loving on myself to worry about the haters.
I encourage you to do the same. Of course, take any opportunity you can to grow, but take everyone's opinions with a grain of salt, because quite frankly it doesn't matter what other people think about you as long as you're being a nice human being and you like who you are.
Spend time loving yourself, because you're really all you've got. At the end of the day, it all comes down to whether or not you like the person that you are. So do the things you love, spend your life with the people you love, and take time for yourself. Be a lil' selfish, because after all, you do deserve all that radical, beautiful, and valuable love.
Thanks so much for reading!! See ya later! <3