Hey guys! Today I'm going to pretty honest with you guys, so get ready.
I first want to talk about the idealization of people. I know I do this a ton, and it can really get to me. You know when you follow someone on Instagram solely because they look happy and cute? You know the people who have 5,000 followers just because... what? They look like they're having a good time? I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who does it, but it's the thing that absolutely kills my self-esteem the most.
I tend to idolize these girls. I think that because they have a cute Instagram and lovely captions and perfect bodies and amazing adventures that they must live flawless lives. The logical part of my mind assures me that this isn't true, but sadly that logical part doesn't control very much of my thoughts, and it becomes overridden with insecurity. I get jealous and upset that others are living these great lives that can't even compare to the boring one that I'm living. But the thing is, I actually LOVE my life. It's pretty amazing. I have the most amazing friends and family, and I like what I'm doing with my life. But when I turn on my phone and see all these "perfect" people, I begin to get incredibly discouraged with myself. I begin to think that my accomplishments aren't good enough; that my body isn't toned enough; that my life isn't being lived to the fullest; that my relationship with Christ isn't strong enough;..... should I go on?
Point is, seeing all these "perfect" people makes me question basically everything going on in my life. It's hard. It gets to a point where your heart just starts to hurt because you can't get past the fact that you aren't good enough. Is anyone surprised that I feel that way?
If you are, it's probably because I don't let people know that I feel that way. Tonight I realized I needed to change that. People need to know that my (possibly?) seemingly "perfect" life is far from that. Tonight I was scrolling though Insta and I saw a post from Gracie Parker's account. Gracie Parker is a blogger that I follow on Instagram because she's an amazing writer and I don't want to miss anything she writes. She also happens to be one of the people I consider to be perfect. So I saw this post announcing a new blog article, so I obviously clicked on it. Her post talked about how she's struggled with bottling up her emotions and not letting people know when things are anything less than fine.
After reading this, I stepped back and was basically like, woahhhhhh. It was crazy because in my mind she was this perfect girl living a great and happy and adventurous life, but now here I am realizing that my image of her was totally and completely wrong. I realized that even though she's an amazing writer, thinker, and adventurer, she doesn't have it all together all of the time. I then started to get kind of scared that you guys would think the same thing about me.
I don't want any of you guys to think that just because I have this blog that deals with positivity and advice, that I have everything put together. Half the things I tell people are things I can't see in myself. I find it insane how easily I can show people their worth, yet how simple it is for me to get lost trying to do the same for myself. Don't get me wrong, every positive and loving word I have ever said about any of you through this blog or any other means is absolutely true, and I wholeheartedly believe that each and every one of you is filled to the brim with potential and value. I just find it difficult to show myself the same kind of love that I show to others. So now I'm going to do what I do best when people are down. I'm going to give a pep talk. This time it's directed towards me, but I'm hoping it'll help at least a few of you guys out there.
I don't have it all together. I don't. I don't know the answers to a lot of questions. I want to help others, but some problems can get lost on me. But you know what? That's okay. I'm doing my best. I'm trying my hardest to love others and myself. I'm going to fail at some points, but mistakes are what make life interesting and beautiful. I love myself. I am capable. I am worthy and valuable and full of potential. There is no limit for my love and kindness. I'm learning. Learning to love people, learning to care, learning how to be a woman of Christ. I'm not at the same place as others, but that's because their starting line was at a different place than mine. I'm working through life at my own pace. I'm making mistakes, and some are made with grace while others a flat out mess. Don't worry about the others. They're living life at their own pace. You'll get there some day, but for now just focus on growing and learning. You don't need to worry about what others are doing, because they're not you. They come from different spaces and backgrounds and they have their own mistakes. Don't compare yourself to someone who is so different from you. Don't worry about they way others are living. Worry about doing you and living in a way that makes you happy. So yeah, maybe I don't have it all together. And maybe my avocado toast doesn't look as good as that one girl who posted a picture of her breakfast the other day, but guess what? I don't care. It tasted good, and that's what matters. Life isn't always about the picture perfect moments. It's about the beautiful and messy in-betweens.
I know this was a pretty raw and honest post, but I think it's important that you guys know that my life isn't any more put together than any of yours. What's important is that we're getting through it together while supporting and loving each other. What more can a girl ask for?
Thank you so much for reading!! See ya later! <3