Happy New Year my friends!!! I hope 2017 is even better than 2016 for everyone!! So today I want to talk about judgement. I want to talk about why it happens and how to prevent it. So yeah, let's do this!
So where does judgement come from? This article has literally no research and is all my own thoughts, so I'm just going to talk about where I personally believe it stems from. I think judgement comes from society. Think about it: is a baby fresh out of the womb going to start judging people for their looks, their differences, their morals, or their ideas? They're not, because they have no idea that we're "supposed" to look or think a certain way (and also because they were just born, but you know what I mean). Society teaches us that things are supposed to be a certain way. So when we see people doing something that doesn't align with society's unwritten rules, we start to question and judge them. For example, if we see a girl with short hair, or a boy wearing makeup, we might wonder why they're doing that, even though there is literally nothing wrong with someone doing their own thing. And we all probably judge people. I know I do, even if I don't want to, and it's very frustrating and pretty upsetting to me that I do this.
But here's the thing: it's not our fault. Although judgement is something that sucks, just because you do it doesn't necessarily mean you're a bad person. It just means that your mind works the in way that society taught it to. So again, not your fault. We're bombarded by expectations through ads, music, TV shows, movies, social media, etc. It's basically impossible to not see what society expects of people, because seeing these standards is part of our lifestyle. Obviously I'm not saying that judgement is a good thing, or that we should do it. I just believe it is something that is very hard to control, but I know that we can begin to control it if we practice.
There comes a point where this can start to really become a bad thing. Judgement becomes a horrible, horrible thing if we act upon it. It can be hard for us to stop the thoughts we have from popping into our heads. But it is very easy to not act upon this judgement. But what does that mean? For me, I start with disregarding the judgemental thought that I had. For example if I think, "wow that outfit is really ugly," I stop myself and wonder "why did I just think that?" Because the person might feel really confident in that outfit, and why should my irrelevant opinion (yes, irrelevant) matter if this person is doing what they love? My opinion about what they are doing does not matter whatsoever. If they like what they're doing, then they should keep doing it. They don't need to be shut down by me or anyone else.
So the first step is to catch yourself when you start thinking judgemental thoughts. Recognize that someone is just being themselves, and recogize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Most importantly: do not share your opinion on what someone is doing if it will make the situation worse. It's good to share opinions about some things, and to debate about what you think. But there is a difference between discussing your opinion on politics and your opinion on someone's tattoos. So don't tell someone if you think their outfit is ugly, or if their piercing looks tacky, or if their tattoos make them look unprofessional. Saying those things have no positive outcomes. Saying them won't help you become a better person, and hearing them will knock someone down. So if it won't have a positive impact on someone, keep it to yourself. It's basically just the whole "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all" thing.
So the hardest part of this whole thing is learning how to stop thinking in a judgemental way. It's pretty easy to recognize when you're thinking judgementally and it's also easy to not say anything mean to someone. But to stop judgemental thoughts-- that is REALLY hard. First, it comes with practice. Practice recognizing when you're having negative thoughts about people, and practice keeping your opinions to yourself. It's also important to recognize that even if you don't agree with something, that doesn't make it wrong. This is especially difficult with people born in a different generation than you. Maybe something that wasn't acceptable then is acceptable now. There is going to be a lot of disagreement about these things. But neither is wrong. They're just different ways of thinking. Maybe one person loves tattoos, and another person passionately hates them. Both opinions are okay-- but those are your personal opinions. Just because you personally feel that it is wrong for yourself to get a tattoo, that doesn't mean it's wrong for someone else to get one. It's important to remember that people need to do what is right for them, and that is an extremely personal decision. Trust that people are doing things for a reason, and that they know what they're doing. Maybe this isn't the case for everyone, but I like to expect the best of people.
Most importantly, remember that these differences don't make you better or worse than someone. Differences are what make us unique. No single person is better than anyone. I hate seeing people believe that they're better than others because they act or look differently then others. You're just different. Not better. Not worse. Different. And that is 100% okay. Respect people's differences. It's okay if someone looks, dresses, talks, acts, or thinks differently than you. It is okay to have different morals than someone. They most important thing is to simply just respect the differences.
Thanks for reading! See ya later!! <3