Unfortunately there is no secret recipe to create the perfect boyfriend, so we have to find the next best thing... actual boys. The problem here is that figuring out boys is kinda difficult, let alone trying to figure out if you want to date them and if they want to date you.
One of the hardest parts of dating is figuring out if you should actually date someone. There's so many different things to think about and factors that go into finding a good guy. Today I'm going to talk about a couple things you can look at to see if your potential guy would actually make a good boyfriend.
Listen to your friends. Your friends want what is best for you, so listen to them when they give you boy advice. Sometimes they're going to tell you something you don't want to hear. It's really easy to brush them off and pretend that they're lying about Mr. Perfect because they're secretly jealous of you having a boyfriend so they're trying to sabotage your shot at happiness. First of all, your friends wouldn't do that, and if they do then maybe you should reconsider some friendships. But all your true friends want is for you to be happy. And if they can tell a boy isn't going to do that for you, they're going to give their honest opinion. Take it into consideration.
Look at how he acts around his friends. This is a huge tell for figuring out who he is as a person. Is he the one guy who never seems to cool it with the offensive jokes? Does he act completely different around you and his friends? I knew someone who's boyfriend acted really disrespectfully around me and his friends. It made me concerned for how he was treating her in the relationship. She assured me he was a different person when they were together, but it still always got to me. Ideally the way a guy acts around anyone should be a reflection of how he acts in a relationship. You want that to be an honest reflection. It's always nicer to have a man who everyone loves because of the way he acts instead of having a man who makes people concerned for your relationship. Is he in need of validation from his friends or is he secure with who he is? How does he talk about other women with his guys? This is a HUGE way to figure out how he'll treat you. If he's talking about women disrespectfully, chances are he may talk about you that same way when you aren't there. It's horrible and probably not something you want to be a part of.
Look at his past, but not too closely. Figure out his dating history and how he treated his past girlfriends. This can be a "people change" situation, but it can also help you get an idea of who he is in a relationship (if he's been in one). Remember to take things with a grain of salt though. Maybe he dated a million girls because he was just looking for "the one" and he never found her. Maybe he broke so-and-so's heart, but maybe it was because so-and-so had an insane jealously problem and he wanted to get out of that. But if it seems like one guy has a similar dating pattern and it's not something you want to be a part of, then let it be. Again, not saying people can't change, because I've seen it happen, but just be careful going into the relationship.
Find out what he wants. This does not mean figure out if he wants 2 or 6 kids on the first date. But see if you can find out if he's even interested in a relationship. The simplest way is to just ask him. Figure out if he's interested in dating or just hanging out with his friends for now. If what he wants is similar to what you want, then go for it, but if it's the complete opposite of what you're interested in, it's best to move on so you don't get stuck in something that isn't actually what you want.
Take initiative. Sometimes the easiest way to figure out if the guy you're into would make a good boyfriend is to just go out with him. It doesn't have to be a formal date; you can just ask him to grab food after school or to work on a project together. Sometimes guys just need a little nudge to realize that you actually like him. With guys you can flirt with them for MONTHS, yet they'll never realize that you actually like them, whereas for girls, you can make eye contact with someone in the hall and start to wonder if they'll want to take time to travel after the wedding or settle down right away and start a family. So take a little initiative, hang out with them as friends, and if you like them say, "we should do this again sometime." Also it's 2018 and you don't need to be waiting around for the guy to make the first move, so just go for it.
Even though I wrote this in a funny tone, I'm 100% serious about everything I talked about. Look at how his values and wants match up to yours. Don't compromise on something your gut is telling you not to compromise on. In the end, it's just important that you find someone who respects you and never makes you feel pressured in the relationship. Someone who would never ask you to give up a part of yourself for them. Find someone you're comfortable with and someone who can be your best friend. And remember, it can never hurt to go on a first date and see if there's some potential for a relationship. Listen to your friends and your heart, and again, NEVER settle for someone or a relationship you aren't comfortable in just so you can change your Facebook status.