Hey guys!! This was a requested post, but I had actually been wanting to write about this for a while now. It's super applicable if you're just starting out in high school or college. It can be a huge switch moving to a new school. Even if you know a few people who go to your new school, they may not be in your classes and it can be really scary. I've so been there-- I came into my freshman year of high school with only one other person from my eighth grade class. But now I've found my people, and I want to help you guys do the same!! I'm going to do this as a list, so here we go:
1.) You have to be outgoing. Be the person who reaches out to people. It's easier to find friends if you're making the first move. If you have friends at school but want to be the kind of friends who hang out on the weekends, invite them to hang out!! You don't have to be the one who waits around to be invited to something. Be the one to initiate-- chances are someone else is waiting for an invitation too.
2.) Your vibe attracts your tribe. This means you have to put out the kind of vibe that you want your friends to have as well. For example, if you want some positive and happy friends who love community service, act positive and happy and do community service. Joining clubs is a great way to do this. If you're interested in something and you join a club, you're guaranteed to find some people who share the same interest. So listen to your mom that first week of freshman year and sign up for clubs. I didn't listen and waited until halfway through my sophomore year to join FCA. I've met some awesome people through FCA and I'm now a leader, but I wish I had joined sooner, so join now!
3.) Be the friend you want to have. Not only will this help you find friends, but it will help you work on some self-improvement and self-love. This also relates to tip #2, but it's important so I'm splitting it into 2 tips.
4.) Find friends with similar morals. This doesn't mean you have to agree on everything, but make sure your friends are morally on the same page as you. Make sure you are both interested and comfortable with the same kinds of things. You don't want to end up in a group of friends who you feel like you can't hang out with outside of school because you don't enjoy doing what they do after school.
5.) Find the people you can be 100% yourself with. You don't want to feel limited by a group of people because you feel like you can't act like yourself around them. These are the people you can be as weird as possible around and they'll still love and accept you. These are the kinds of people you want to be friends with forever because they make you feel loved and accepted unconditionally. You need these people in your life, and they're probably the most important friends you'll ever have.
6.) "Your people" are constantly going to change. Don't freak out. It's okay. My best friends from freshman year are not the same ones I have in junior year. I still love them to death, but we've changed as people and we just don't click as much as we used to. I used to think that your bffs from freshman year were your bffs forever, but that's not the case for everyone. As people we're constantly changing and trying new things, especially in high school, and sometimes people grow in different directions. I'm telling you this so you don't freak out if one day your people no longer feel like your people anymore. If this happens, just know that there is nothing wrong with you, and nothing is wrong with them. I grew apart from a lot of my friends, but it helped me grow closer and stronger with my best friends today.
7.) Don't be afraid to meet new people. My boyfriend invited me to hang out with his friends, and I almost didn't want to because I'm generally a very awkward person when meeting new people and I was scared. But I hung out with this group, and now I love them, and I feel like I've found my people again. Since I'm new to the group I'm still getting closer with them, but I'm pretty confident that I've found "my people" in them. So if people invite you places, go. Worst case scenario, you're a little awkward, but best case scenario you find some new and amazing friends.
To recap, be the one to initiate. Engage with people and try to be outgoing. Nothing is going to happen if you aren't an active member of a friend group. Work on your relationships with your friends and make time for them. If others reach out to you, take the opportunity as long as your morals match up with theirs. Be the kind of person you want to be friends with.
I know this is pretty general, so if you have a specific friendship question, reach out to me. I've always been weirdly good at relationship advice. You can email me, DM me on insta, or leave a question on the Ask Anna page (just leave your name and email/number and leave a little comment letting me know that you'd like me to answer it privately.
Thank you so much for reading!! See ya later! <3