Hello my dudes!! I hope everyone is having a fabulous day. Today I'm going to be talking about how we can create and prevent our own happiness. I'm going to start with the less-joyful part of this so we can end with the good side, so here we go!
So, preventing our own happiness. Unfortunately, it is something that is pretty easy to do. Lots of times I know we can find ourselves ruining our own happiness with doubt. We can doubt ourselves-- our worth, our beauty, our choices, etc. We can find ourselves thinking we aren't good enough (which I talked about in a previous post). We can be pretty hard on ourselves, and clearly that doesn't make us feel good. In fact, its actually pretty miserable to doubt ourselves. We beat ourselves down for mistakes. I don't want to focus too much on how we can prevent our own happiness, because the goal is to try and create that happiness. The reason I'm talking about it is to recognize that it happens.
So, onto creating our own happiness. For this, you have to rely on yourself. Often times I realize that my happiness is determined by other people in my life. Often times this is a good thing: my family and friends make me extremely happy, because they are such great people. But this can also have negative effects. I can find myself getting caught up in what people think about me. I can find myself wishing people felt a certain way about me (boyfriend, where you at???). But the thing is, we shouldn't rely on others to make us happy. We should rely on ourselves.
We are so capable of making ourselves happy. We spend our entire lives with ourselves. So get to know yourself! Find the things you like to do. Find your passions. Do something everyday that you enjoy. Whatever it is that makes you happy, DO IT!! If you had the option to do something you love, would you take that chance? I hope the answer is yes. So find something you love and do it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It is your life and you need to go out there and LIVE IT! Do something everyday that you enjoy doing by yourself. It is important to spend time with yourself, because in all honesty, the most important person in your life is you.
Don't do things to please others. Take a little bit of time to be selfish. Yes, be selfish. If you spend your whole life trying to please people and make others happy, do you think that you are going to be happy? This whole "conforming to standards" thing can really affect your happiness. Of course you shouldn't be mean to people, but if you spend the entirety of your life with your main goal being to make others like you, you aren't going to be happy. Take time to do things for yourself. BE YOURSELF. It is so beautiful to see someone being unapologetically themselves. If you are yourself, and if you are happy, then it doesn't matter what people think about you. Be so in love with yourself that you don't need others to be in love with you. Of course, its awesome when other people love you, but care more about how you love yourself then about how others love you.
This is something that is really hard for me. I always find myself wishing I had a boyfriend. I have this absurd thought that I will be wayyyyy happier if I have a boyfriend. And although that having a boyfriend would make me happy, its not the only thing that should make me happy. I have such a dependence on feeling like I need a person with this role in my life, and I'm sure others do too. Earlier today I was feeling lonely, but then I realized how stupid that was. I realized that I was spending way too much time being sad and worried about being lonely, when I am the farthest thing from lonely. I have some really awesome friends, and a supportive family, and most importantly, I have MYSELF.
I told myself that I don't need a boyfriend. I mean, having one would be totally awesome, and I'm definitely not swearing off boys or anything, but I realized that it is entirely possible to be happy with myself as I am. I told myself that I don't need to depend on other people to make my life worth living. I am perfectly capable of having a great life with only myself for company.
This is a really simple trick that can help you feel happy all by yourself. It is to simply tell yourself what you need to hear. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, tell yourself that you don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend, tell yourself that you are intelligent, tell yourself that you are important, tell yourself anything it is that you need to hear. Most likely it probably won't help the first time you say it, and that is okay. But continue to tell yourself what you need to hear. Tell yourself everyday, or even every hour if that's how often you need to hear it. Eventually there will come a time where you will say it, and you will believe it.
Some days are going to be better than others. Some days you might feel so overwhelmed by your own happiness, and the next day might be the complete opposite. But either way, continue to encourage yourself and continue to do things for yourself, and continue to find your passions, and you WILL become more happy and satisfied with your own self. (p.s I'm making a playlist of songs that help cheer me up when I'm feeling down and it is down below)
Thank you so much for reading!! See ya later! <3
GET HAPPY PLAYLIST
Difference Maker by NEEDTOBREATHE
King of Anything by Sara Bareilles
Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson
New Soul by Yael Naim
Upside Down by Jack Johnson
Uncharted by Sara Bareilles
Hell No by Ingrid Michaelson
HAPPINESS-Acoustic by NEEDTOBREATHE
Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney (because you deserve someone who feels this way about you)
Gonna Get over You by Sara Bareilles
Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson
Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE (if you couldn't already tell, they're my favorite band)
Better Together by Jack Johnson
I'm sorry that there is only like 3 different artists on this list but I really like these songs and they help me feel more positive so.... :)