i know we've all heard a million times about how we're in charge of our own lives and how we should go out and seize the day and build our huge dreams brick by brick until we're basking in the light of our own wonderful futures. and while that can all be a true, a lot of times it just sounds like a bunch of crap that's meant to inspire us but doesn't actually give us any real direction.
i love to think about the future. now that i'm graduating high school, the future i've always contemplated is quickly meshing with the present. the future is blossoming before me; yet something i imagined to perfection feels out of control.
i wrote this love letter to myself. read it as if you are speaking to yourself.
disclaimer: because this is a post about a breakup, i was obviously broken up with, but to anyone who clicked on this in hopes of reading a dramatic story about what happened, you've come to the wrong place. i am so blessed and thankful to have been in a healthy relationship for such a long time. we ended on good terms for mature reasons, and any negative emotions that i am feeling now come from my reaction to the actual breakup and in no way reflect how i was treated in the relationship. there was no drama and no problems, only trying to work out what was best for us in the long run.
i was listening to the song "note to self" by ben rector, and it inspired me to write a little note to my own self. hopefully it can also encourage someone else.
tonight was one of those nights where you cry in the shower about everything that went wrong today that transitions you into clouding your thoughts with every mistake and insecurity you've ever had while leaning your head against the wall of the shower.
hello beautiful!! it is currently 12:13 a.m. and i am writing this from my bed after having a huge realization about my life and more motivation than i've had in forever. i was in one of those seasons where you get down on yourself about everything. anyone know what i mean? it's that whole thing where you get in a negative and unhealthy mindset that causes you to degrade yourself no matter how hard you try. it's the voice that causes you to question your worth and wonder why you can't seem to do anything right.
"here it is, a big, beautiful, fascinating world... Do something with it!"
- from love wins by rob bell
so there's this country song called "woman, amen" by dierks bentley and one of the lyrics is, "but i need all the cracks in my shattered heart, 'cause that's where her love gets in."
the intention i set for the month, and pretty much my whole life, is growth. to me, theres nothing more important. it's a pretty vague word to have as an intention, but i think that's what i like about it.