Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing well! I know last week I wrote about the Eightfold Path, and I was going to continue it for my next post, but I feel like this one is a little more important to talk about right now. I've noticed some of my friends asking for advice on this topic, so I think it's really important to talk about today.
First, I'm going to ask you a question: Are you good enough? Take a second to analyze this question, think about what it means to you, and think of your answer.
If you answered yes, then that's awesome!! I'm glad that you are confident in yourself and believe that you are "good enough", whatever that statement means to you. If you answered no, then that is okay. We are going to change your answer to be a yes. I'm going to give you a little pep talk that will hopefully change your mindset about yourself.
First of all, what does it mean to be good enough? We all face a lot of pressures to be "good enough." They may come from our parents, our teachers, our siblings, our coaches, our friends, and most of all ourselves. Today we face so much pressure to be "good enough." We have to take all the right classes. Not only do these classes have to be challenging, but we have to do well in these courses. We need to participate in extracurricular activities. We need to get involved with the school. We need to spend more time with our families. We need to find a good group of friends. We have to branch out and make new friends, but make sure we don't get involved with the "wrong people." We need to do volunteer work. We should join more clubs. We need to get jobs. We need to do something to contribute to the community. We need to do something to make the world a better place. We need to always make the right decisions. And we have to find something that sets us apart from everyone else, because even if we seem to be "good enough" it might not be "good enough" to get us noticed by a college, a coach, a recruiter, or something of the sort. And even when we are "good enough", sometimes even then it's still not enough.
All of these things I just said are stressors that I personally feel. You might feel some of these same ones. You might feel none of them at all. But somewhere, something is probably causing you to stress or feel pressured because whatever you are doing just isn't "good enough."
Guys, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of not feeling good enough. I don't want to overwhelm myself with school work. I don't want to stress so much over classes that don't even correlate with things I'm interested in. I want to learn about things that I actually have an interest in. I want to do the things I love to do. I want to make new friends, and see new places, help people, and write on my blog. I feel like all these pressures to be "good enough" are ruining my freedom to do what I want to do with my time and with my life.
Now more than ever there is so much pressure to get into the "right" college and get the "right" grades and do the "right" thing for our future. But is the seemingly "right" choice actually the right choice? Why are we so focused on being good enough for other people's standards? We don't need to base our life choices of off what will be the best for us according to other people's ideals, because those standards of what is the best for us are not made by the person who's future these choices are dictating. I feel like we are so caught up in making a life for ourselves that we forget to actually live.
We need to be the ones making our own future's. We need to be the ones making our future's look the way we want them to look. So start making your life what you want it to be! Change your standards of what is "good enough" to match the path that you want life to take you on. Don't get caught up in taking AP math classes if your true passion is writing. Try and take classes and experience things that interest you. Finding your interests can be more helpful for discovering what your future should be like than taking all the hardest classes could ever do for you.
I know some of you may want to do the things I'm talking about, but that your parents or other people in your life may not agree with my reasoning. It's hard to know that our choices for the future can be dictated by people who don't even know how we envision our future. So, if you can, try and talk to them about your interests. Talk to them about how you see your future. You could even show them this if you think it would help.
And speaking of parents, this is not to say that mine or anyone else's parent is doing a bad job. All I'm saying is that sometimes people don't understand how much stress they put on us with these expectations to be "good enough." Speaking of this pressure from parents, my dance teacher showed me an excellent video about these pressures which I will link at the bottom of this post.
But anyways, I know that we all hold ourselves to impossibly high standards. Although lots of this pressure can come from other people, a lot of it comes from our own selves. First, remember that no one can tell you if you are "good enough." No one has the right to tell you that, because they are not you, and their standards are different than yours. And second, ease up on yourselves. I know it can be hard to take it easy on yourself. This might make you feel even worse because it may make you seem like you are falling behind. But I promise that it will help you in the long run to take a second to just breathe and relax. It can also help to take a second to love yourself. Think about all the great things you've already accomplished. Think of all the amazing things you've already done with your life. Sometimes your greatest achievement of the day may have been getting out of bed, and that's okay. Recognize all the challenges and struggles that you have already overcome. Even if you aren't feeling great at the moment, I know that there is something from the past that you have accomplished that is probably pretty amazing.
If you're really struggling with feeling down, remember that someone is always there for you. I promise that someone in your life will always have a kind word to say to you. Sometimes all it takes to feel better is to hear some good things about yourself. If you don't feel comfortable asking someone to tell you what they love about you, then do it to yourself. Stand in front of your mirror and talk to yourself. Tell yourself everything you love about yourself. Say it out loud. You can talk about your appearance, your personality, ANYTHING you need at the moment to feel better. And if all else fails, turn on some Beyonce and jam it out. I would recommend "Survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Thank you for reading!! See ya later! <3